By Phoenix of Elder Mountain – The video below, shows a mother and daughter in an artistic portrayal of separation. Separation leads to abandonment, phobia issues, co-dependency and addictions of any kind. It is the leading cause of drama-diseases, and as any 40 year old will tell you, things arise at midlife of what occurred twenty or thirty years earlier. Inner child work is best done in the late thirties to mid forties because that is when we are most open and can handle that level of power needed to return. There are young people of course in their 30s that have journeys and do healing work, but I have seen a lot of people heal fast when the “age” factor timing of this fated reality is appropriate for such healings. Timing is everything they say, and its true, even by age.
When we reconnect with this fragmented part of the self from the past, the inner child as we get into our later 30s and 40s, and for some even in their 50s, we slowly become aware of the underlying roots of our pain, our sleep disorders, our fears, our phobias, insecurities and self sabotaging life patterns. Inner child work is pivatol, meaning that we prepare for that work, we do it and we reach the greatest detoxes from it. Same too for Soul Retrievals, Inner Child work is one healing work that leads to peaks which are then released.
One time a doctor was referred to me, and he thought my work was amazing of all the simple things I did with him over a few months. He said I have been to many big time people in California changing me thousands, and you go in there and clear what I was looking for, over ten years. I told him, you prepared for me and without that, my work would have taken years.
We begin to unravel and address things we could not see or are not able to see until the time is right. Healing the inner child issues takes preparation, slow baby steps towards our real “wounding” which sits under layers of our issues. The issues must be addressed first. There is no “issue” discussing in sweat lodges, so don’t look there, this type of work has to be “safe” and under the very compassionate hands of a loving healer.
I wanted to share several layers here in this article about separation, you separated from your inner child, through the separation of life experiences or in other words, where you soul your soul, where it was stolen or abused. Past life inner child or past life adult soul fragmentation separations are very different and very dangerous. Those go into more severe karmic pain and karmic struggles, near deaths and that require healing the self and inner child healing first before the work is truly done.
Our astral body was once complete, this luminous body of ours that can light up even what we think of as heaven or the bright light when die. But we all have karma today or maybe a handful of people are free from karma after a lifetime of healing but mostly even the most enlightened guru may not have paid his karma yet and is in the dormant state (underworld hasn’t opened yet).
All of us have karmic lives sitting and waiting in the abyss, because after 1200 bce, 3,000 years of wars, killing and kingdoms, we have lived lives within reincarnation, which has fragmented our souls apart. The astral soul body is a white and luminous body shape, like a cloud and whatever was not fragmented off in other lives, we get the remainder in our incarnation.
When we experience abuses this lifetime, another piece has broken off, sometimes this is how we pay real karma off, and people do not like when I say that, but its true. All the monster and folklore creatures that are shadowy, are just real depictions of what our real human fragmented shadow energetic souls look like in its karmic states. Its pretty ugly and sometimes frightening when its at the demonic levels of fragmentation.
I saw mine in a ten year process when I got to the core of healing my two past lives. I saw my sons, then my apprentices, its not pretty, these demonic astral shadow that roam for shamans and seers to see, connected to those we love or those we want to help. We have all gone down that path, causing great fragmentation from karma, our own bad to demonic behaviors in lives we have not re-experienced much less remember or experience first hand.
1. The personal: When I began the more adult aspects of my shaman’s initiations after 30, as a Dreamer (dreamer is a fourth of four levels of a shaman); I lost my daughter and son, because the vibration of my collapsing life (shaman’s sickness) was rapidly approaching and I was losing regular human power of balancing my world. I fragmented and broke at 33, having to sustain what I could not handle in the shaman’s path. From the outside it just looked like a really bad divorce, but it was much deeper, than what appeared on the surface to friends and family.
Loss or death of anyone’s child brings grief, great stress or a living heartache. The last time my daughter lived with me, she was nine years old and my son was ten and a half. Of course that was only one of the many broken and fragmented life experiences I would have to endure as a shaman. The harder I worked at staying in contact with my children when all the forces were against me, the better I felt that I was at least giving it my all. We all experience these kinds of human traumas at some point in our lives, most people get one to three great crisis situations or health issues and then must live with the journey to find balance.
2. Inner child work: This crisis then led me to even deeper work, and my path to “inner child work” began with consistency around 38 years old. I did all the knowledge and social paths of spirituality already and was finished with those and already to move into the more devotion practices and monthly and weekly healing of many kinds. Consistent healing work monthly, eventually pays off and inner child work is one of them.
We forget what our childhood felt like past twenty-five and when we have to go back there to do the inner child healing work, we begin to remember its pain and feel it, so it can release from our emotional body. Moving to a new home can traumatize a child, much less being abused which is high level trauma. Some examples of the wounded inner child which we trip over same old problems in our lives because of it…
- Physical abuse, being hit or smacked by parents or grandparents
- Emotionally unavailable parents or those who withheld basic affection
- Being “punished” through kicking, shaking, biting, burning, hair pulling, pinching, scratching.
- Molestation, shown pornography, or any other type of sexual contact from a parent, relative or friend
- Children of Divorce, children of pot or alcohol addictions
- Age Inappropriate responsibilities (such as caring for your parents)
- Starving, or not in a Safe place to live
- Abandonment of any kind, big or small
- Emotional neglect, not being nurtured, encouraged or supported
- Being deliberately called names or verbally insulted or shamed
- Denigration of your personality
- Destruction of personal belongings
- Excessive demands
- Car accidents, or other spontaneous traumatic events
Having gone through this process of my own inner child work for five years and being certified in some of the practices helping my apprentices and clients do the same, I saw the deep importance of the “length of time” it really requires to do real healing work in ordinary mundane life as a human being. I felt such burdens lifted from me and a heaviness that I was not even aware of.
The first half of my “self” healing journey and healings I received from other healers was to help me, to help heal and loosen the inner child from her prison. This was my human healing journey and it was powerful. I could see then hindsight when I did healing work on clients and apprentices and then their freedom also and the changes it brought. My shaman’s healing path was one of a more painful nature, dread and fright and I was even damaged and wounded from my real shaman’s initiations that took even more healing to stabilize that as well during my initiation time.
I have turned people away in my path because they were not ready for or did not need a shaman, they needed the 20 steps of practices and healing first. I learned and I share, that no one needs a shaman (healer) unless they are really deathly sick or can’t heal their existing disease or sickness (nor can a doctor help them heal), or those that chose when they are young, to take a path of no pot medicine, no medicines, no doctors or antibiotics to cure their sickness. Then yes call a shaman (healer) then, that is when one needs a shaman most.
All the other work we do in healing (not knowledge path after a certain point) and is just preparation to help us ground and feel better, and help us make it one more week or month in our heavy burdens. Everyone who has come to me (apprentices over the years), has been in the total collapse state, at the severest levels or was on the verge of falling into that abyss – and why they sought me out unconsciously or a deeper drive to have a working relationship together. Inner child work is such a big part of the preparation for real soul retrievals. There are many today that are good.
What is the inner child and why does it separate and fragment from us?
The inner child is like a wheel, and each year that we grow and experience any one of those concerns from the list above, and we end up surrendering (not fighting to live or give up hope) we have touched an inner child issue that is causing us pain. Many times I see this behavior all the time in people and now with social media, its extremely easy to see. Yet no one shows compassion, because they are working out the other side of the victim and perpetrator scenarios as adults.
As children our fear stay with us as adults, but they look different. We don’t kick and scream on the floor at our best friends house when we feel hurt by a random comment over dinner. Well maybe the introvert does and then expresses it later, but most people hold it in and have learned to control it, but not be ‘aware’ of ‘it’ anymore. The inner child “it” has been tampered and toned down until one gets drunk.
These issues overtakes us or circumstances in abuses in the family has been created in our family we birthed, this puts us in survival mode (shock) and people can live in great shock. Look at the survivors of Auschwitz as an example, the astral body keeps fragmenting a little at a time until we loose our energy completely and have lost the path and are now in the deep forests of our pain. Even then we can still exit, go to work and drudge our way through issues that do not heal.
The astral body fragments that partly steps out of us, at the age we were traumatized, remains outside of the body until we do the work. This is when peoples emotional body’s start to flat-line, and depression sinks in and a host of other issues like chronic fatigue etc. We are given a certain amount of our own astral life force (soul), to reincarnate with and when we are abused or hurt continually, that part of us leaves and stays outside of the realms. We can only address the original wound in order to begin to walk towards the inner child whose astral body has split off from us as we were growing and it remains outside of our body until brought back home.
But the inner child in her astral form is usually or almost always, separated from the adult self by the abusers shadow astral body. This is why its so hard to heal, the behind the scenes are not there even for really great healers and psychics. This is where a dreamer (shaman) like myself, had to be witness behind the scenes on the astral planes, seeing the inner child soul and the shadow soul in their prison (so to speak). Be that a physical or emotional abuser, who is unconscious of their shadow (and to us shamans, that the unconscious shadow is a real and living dark energetic astral soul body).
The shadow soul of an alcoholic, or shamanic drug/plant person who does peyote also has caused new problems in clans, tribes, villages and society. The darkest person in these circles is always the most charismatic one. Or an abusive parent and the parent that was in denial can still bring up old wounded feelings by an adult with inner child issues at the holidays. The wounded child is still in the realm of the past, surrounded by us in the present, and these shadow bodies do not let go of her so easily, until its safe. I have done many soul retrievals but only when people are ready, and not before when it comes to healing. In group soul journeys (winter solstice), everyone is invited regardless because its not like individual sessions.
What this means is we have to do the healing work for her or him to return (slowly). After major healing has been done to understand your own depth of your personal story and what you have to reclaim, we have to work out and heal the majority of one issue or a few and overcome them to be ready for the next phase. Self healing is full of a thousand phases. Then, this is where a shaman comes in to see who the demonic astral body is and begin to enter that realm with a fighting force as a warrior shaman to free the child in a soul retrieval. Most shaman journeys are feel good journeys, people feel supported by their book trained, school trained or conference workshop trained shamans, that is because they are getting “emotional support” for the first time in their lives, but it doesn’t mean their astral fragmented soul isn’t still out in the realms.
Past live soul fragments are much deeper and they cannot return until all parts of this life’s soul fragments have healed, and returned. This is because past life shadow fragments are older, stronger, more powerful demons when its our own. And that path requires a whole lifetime to overcome and many people do not. They can be slaves to their alcohol, sleep medications, doctors meds, pot, shamanic plants/drugs, or whatever keeps them separate from that pain of sobriety or past life demonic shadow fragment (dark soul body) and that chaos of that pain that appears. The rule is, most are totally unconscious of any of this type of past life shadow, as long as they feed themselves the illusion causing substances which only makes the shadow astral soul body eventually more powerful and one day busts through (if the person gets sober or wake up in ‘cycle’ of age).
The following is from “Union Within” and explains some of the dynamics of the inner child parenting process.
“The feeling of wanting to die, of not wanting to be here, is the most overwhelming, most familiar feeling in my emotional inner landscape. Until I started doing my inner child healing I believed that who I really was at the deepest, truest part of my being, was that person who wanted to die. I thought that was the true ‘me’. Now I know that is just a small part of me.
When that feeling comes over me now I can say to that seven year old, “I am really sorry you feel that way Robbie. You had very good reason to feel that way. But that was a long time ago and things are different now. I am here to protect you now and I Love you very much. We are happy to be alive now and we are going to feel Joy today, so you can relax and this adult will deal with life.”. . . .
“The integration process involves consciously cultivating a healthy, Loving relationship with all of my inner children so that I can Love them, validate their feelings, and assure them that everything is different now and everything is going to be all right. When the feelings from the child come over me it feels like my whole being, like my absolute reality – it isn’t, it is just a small part of me reacting out of the wounds from the past. I know that now because of my recovery, and I can lovingly parent and set boundaries for those inner children so they are not dictating how I live my life. By owning and honoring all of the parts of me I now have a chance to have some balance and union within.”
Step Processes – We do not heal these parts of ourselves until we have prepared to be here, the action part of inner child work you can do and when those are completed (and take your time), leave no stone un-turned because you will just have to repeat and go back over them anyway. Here are some good first steps which I give practices to people…
1. Connecting with your Inner Child – Acknowledge your inner child exists, treat this part of you as a loving mother would. Let him or her know that you won’t let anyone ever again treat you the way a parent or partner did. Treat him or her with kindness and respect. This is all about taking care of you, being the mother or father you never had to you. Some self-nurturing communication: I love you. I hear you. I’m sorry. I forgive myself.
2. Get out a photo of you at the age of your trauma(s) – I ask people at this stage of their journey, to put a photo of themselves on the nightstand to connect with each night and and remind themselves that they are on a real healing journey and that they are on consistent and won’t abandon themselves. This is an excellent practice for a few years before a soul retrieval.
3. Reconnect and go inward – A lot of people who enter the midlife crisis around 37 or 38 already have children or have stress in their life and overburdened at the prime of their life. Inner child work really starts at this most potent time to heal around this stage of life. Those who have abandonment or co-dependent issues will peak during this age. Reconnecting to sides of our self that we never even knew existed as adults, can change your relationship to yourself and to others. This discovery is truly life-changing whether its inner child work or any deeply devoted healing path. Having fun and returning play is also an important action that is also needed for some people to loosen up their fool to lighten some burdens.
Meditation is not an inner child work and I see a lot of suggestions for that. Emotional and Soul issues are more connected with inner child fragmentation and emotional issues that have turned into phobias, fears or addictions of any kind. Meditation if for the mind, and what we try to do with inner child work is to get deep into that emotional body first. Here are some good holistic therapies which I would say commit to, from 1 to 3 years, building upon each other if you need to go deeper.
Try them all, especially if you were molested or raped or unconscious as an adult of some of your past abuses. There are many healings out there, when you feel ready to deal with the traumas of the past, real healing work is very slow and make sure you ask your healer what types of healing they have done and do they drink or smoke pot. This makes a huge difference in your recovery time of your emotional detoxes. You don’t want to spend time having to heal and cleaning up your healers emotional body that has slipped into yours (if your an empath). Might as well get the best since you are investing in you…
* Water Therapy, also called Watsu is excellent;
* Rebirthing (5-10 ten sessions with a woman and 5-10 with a male practitioner)
* Massage Cranio-Sacral (work is very good for physically abused children)
* Energy work (any kind, except crystal healing, it fragments the emotional soul body);
* Re-connective Healing, which is a form of body soul work
As a shaman, I do not open up the underworlds or middleworlds to find the fragmented inner child or past life karmic demonic soul, mother earth is the only one who can open those realms. All i had to do was pass 40 years of death tests for her to do it. The pierce of the veil, to get an inner child, is gotten by the person who is seeking it, not the shaman. The person has prepared to meet her wounded self by working at healing all along, the wounded self with real healing work. The shaman only holds both self, the other or the group, in a protected place so they can return one inch deeper to that ultimate destination.
Some need soul retrievals for sickness, some need it for soul loss this lifetime (inner child), others can only withstand being close to the sickness of death for a few years and that is not enough time for past life soul fragment to return back home (purified, yes the dark soul of karma must be purified through intense pain to burn off karma)… I other words you have to feel the pain of people you killed two thousand or a thousand years ago, in your real body and it hurts like “hell”, that frees the soul you killed and you get to feel their pain. That is real inner child work of a past life. The Hindus say your can “breath away” your karma. Well, even a devout practice of 30 years of that is not going to pierce the veil to enter the realm of the dead.
We first have to heal the pain of our ordinary life that arises, before we can go to the next level, in other words we have to fix the broken arm, and it must be all healed before we can approach the broken body (soul work). Its all the brokenness that occurs when you open the doorways to this type of healing because its not something that is simple, its highly complex. If the person can withstand their own deep sorrow, grief and the detox changes that occur, then an inner child fragment (the astral body of the child of this lifetime) will return as it gets so close in your space, you become aware that you are ‘feeling better’. As a shaman when I know its time I will hear the child in waking (clairaudio) or at night when I dream walk when I have a more long term relationship to my clients or apprentices.
3. The Collective: Across the veils is one big dark mess, leave that to the death dreamers.
So to conclude, you deserve to heal your issues, start with basic support from a loving circle, a women’s circle, a sweat lodge, if that turns ugly or your intuition tells you something is not right in the group its not, move on. In the last thirty years, many leaders who are my age have never even gone to a healer, much less dedicated to a decade or two of many modalities. So move on if a circle does not support you, you will know because all they want you to do is serve them.
For a real soul retrieval and however many it takes, and you will know because the person shifts, they lose a lot of weight, they leave a spouse, they move, they quit their job, they make some kind of big change within two or three years.