Are we suppose to know when our struggles will end? No… we must trust that the process of life is filled with both negative and positive, happy and sad, struggle and loss, and flow and freedom. We all have our good and bad days, but when life gives us extra challenges, so much that we must reach out for help, this is when we know our soul is actually speaking to us. We can’t do it all alone, even the most independent among us.
The soul doesn’t remain silent forever, and her language is not like mind and body. And although we wish she would remain silent in our struggles and pain, she comes like a force of fire burning everything up if we do not pay attention.
Some say its a curse to have powerful feelings and our feelings connected like a river to the untouchable soul. Regardless of all the quotes on social media, all the secure and powerful twenty-something culture out there, I know better than that. Very gifted people, dreamers, artists, healers all have insecurities, an aching heart, and a balance that just has not yet settled down. On the other side, we see those who do have it all together, but even they eventually must face the unconscious and make it conscious.
We can have love, light and bliss, as long as we remain asleep and are not awakened or disturbed by our soul and carry on the business of mind body each day. As soon as the soul returns to us and knocks on our door, this is when the greater struggles start. For some of us, they started as children, I know mine did. Our soul returns and is truly connected to the lifetimes when we were unconscious to the suffering we caused. Is it fair we should have to trust this type of process of karma to make sense of sudden loss? Or a repetitive frustration that turns to pain that evolved into full chaos?
Yes we should, even if no one believes our path.
We cannot unlock the doors of our soul unless we are willing to remember and remembering is not pleasant, it doesn’t pay the rent, its not pop culture popular and we must trust that the way through, is the way. Remember the happiest time of your life? What made you happy in this memory? Was it the people you were with? Was it a sense of belonging or where you felt safe and loved? Was there something magical in the air?
So many things change in our life internally when we reach a part of our journey where we truly are unhappy, or have grown into something we still do not understand how we got there. Or what had worked before to keep us going in life, doesn’t seem to solve our internal or external struggles anymore.
This is when we must take a new path, and new paths in life lead to new attitudes, or new people, or new ways of being or even a new town to take risks to feel again. Its here where we must accept that we have to live a new truth because our old one is not working anymore. These are the soul discussions we have with our self, and the hardest ones we will ever make in our life because they usually come with destruction or a collapse of some kind.
When we get to the point in our life (whenever that is), to review our past, we all tend to have accumulated a bunch of unconscious desires that were not fulfilled, or turned out to be an illusion or were never real or good for us in the first place. But to accept this is gut wrenching, but its also the only place we can meet our soul and we have to be honest with our self. Because when we truly start digging, our past wasn’t really as perfect as we thought or felt it was. It was however filled with a false sense of security, a trust in someone we shouldn’t have trusted in the first place and only knew it for a few moments at the beginning of the relationship.
There are ten thousand illusion and our personal illusion took over our being. And when we truly get into our stuff, maybe we were not as happy as we thought we were. But we are resilient, and the moment we decide that we are finally ready to face our crisis or intense decision or loss, something new arises. Life has safety nets and this is one of them.
Learning to really let go of the places we sold our soul in our past, seems to surface when we least expect it. Many are complete blind to this reality of life and they just accept harsh suffering for too long of a duration. For those who want to dig into our soul for some soul work, its usually “only out of necessity” and for the first time in our life we recognize we lived a bunch of little events that were struggles, nothing enough to make us truly change. That is real crisis in itself… it accumulates and now it mixes with some past life soul karma that makes our life unbearable or in a mental state of break down or break through. Then it becomes fire to the touch and burns us like hell and we fall deeper into the darkness without a safety net.
This is not easy to accept that life has this in store for some of us, and sometimes we do collapse, and sometimes the chaos doesn’t allow us to see what these changes and struggles are for. We will always make new memories just by living our life, and the second half of our life, is rarely what the first half is. And there is that time in life where its just really bad.
If we can accept that, then we can begin a process of healing, a process of endings, a process of letting go. These are the things that sooth and nurture our sicknesses, our worries, our anxieties, our struggles. We cannot stop a large cycle of karma releases, but what we can do, is begin to detox and detoxing and soul work are inseparable. But the detoxes I speak of is “emotional” detoxing because that is what is connected to the soul in its most potent state.
When it comes to our Soul, we don’t have a choice… we have to change.