Empath & Conflict

By Phoenix the Elder – If you are an empath, a true one, you know that you are an emotional wreck and trouble finds you everywhere. Oversensitive, emotions trigger easy and it takes a lot of personal healing to begin to understand who you are. If you call yourself an empath but its not a constant dire and struggle, then you are an intuitive and not an empath.

The word empathic healer popped in my head in 1993 and with my first new home computer and AOL I searched that and there was “1” item listed. So I wrote him and he said he was creating a role playing game and that same two words popped in his head and he gave his character that quality. One response! Today if you search empathic healer on google, there are 400,000, but if you search empath, there are 9 million… thats more like it.

We elder Empaths who took this path forty years ago, know that we attract narcissistic types of people, be that our child, spouse, friend or foe… because opposites attract. When I reached my mid-forties, philosophy, metaphysics, psychotherapy, Jungian contemplative thought and any Buddhist philosophy had no real place in my life anymore. But the practices and disciplines did, so I replace the old into the new on my path of words and ideas, and put myself into disciplines of pure action. I  had started yoga in 1978, but twenty years later I had to up my game 100 fold. 

Empaths take other’s sicknesses (energetically), feel other peoples emotional pain and conflict, and they can read another persons by the information stored in the energetic emotional and soul bodies. That is the main foundation of a true empath. You walk into a hospital to visit a friend, you come out sick for one year and have to recover from taking all that sick energy into your body. That is a true empath and there are gradient levels of empaths:

You could be a 20% empath, and take a small amount of sickness from others on mental, emotional and physical levels, and those like me are 100% empaths and have to heal constantly with healers, disciplines, sobriety and foods every day and month for our entire life to remain healthy.

And empaths also have much grief and complexities of their own. In any healing journey, the empaths must begin to “empty out and let go and heal” any personal struggles as a committed disciplined path for their own survival. That is law and rule number 1. There is only one law and rule, and that is it.

My emotional body, my soul astral body and my mental state were pushing me further than I was ready to go and I needed strict practices, disciplines and sobriety to be able to ground myself enough at these rising intense levels. I also made a commitment to heal my sensitive nature that seemed to bring too much sorrow all the time.

I wanted to really heal as deeply as possible more than I wanted to know knowledge and as an Empath and after mastering Zen, I began to unfold the healing process of my receptive empathic nature. That unfolding would last the next twenty-five years. The more I healed at deeper layers, the more wounds and intensities would surface opening more and more awakenings until the realms busted open.

Empath and their starlight

I call that the wrath and why I am against any perception altering substances. We don’t need them and if you are someone who cannot vision naturally, your adding to the problems and asleep even within your hallucinogenic projections that are not real, they are projections only.

As I look back over forty years of astral travel, out of bodies, full out of bodies (death) and eventually dream walking as I was emptying out more and more real past life karma, the most intense and difficult body to heal is the emotional body. The steps I took very carefully because the emotional body and the soul body can be dangerous if you work too fast are:

1. Ground emotions and don’t give it too much power, just like the mental body. The mental body needs silencing disciplines and the emotional body needs perception growth;
2. The Mastery of Letting Go is a dedicated monthly practice and takes years to master as life gives us more and more challenges the deeper we go inward;
3. Permission given to self express without projection, where all emotions lead to the root of unconscious behavior that keep us on the wheel of self sabotage and victim consciousness;

Many holistic healing techniques and working with healers, should be done in private, and definitely not in Goop groups when it comes to our inner child releases and karmic releases emotionally. One needs to be supported one on one for the wounded energies of the past trying to leave the body slowly which can be very intense.

I focused from there, with the hard work of the actual actions, holistic therapies and practices of dream work, consistent meditation in nature, silencing the mental body to slay it into submission. This allowed me to enter a space of leaving words, concepts and ideas that were outside the context of art and spirituality, concentrating my efforts into pure practices, healing modalities and disciplines that supported me as a sensitive and emotional dreaming type of human being.

The mind and its make us neither happier nor unhappy and without drugs they stand alone in the world of a creation to “fix” the emotional body from the minds reality. This has not been very successful over the millenniums because the mind and its knowledge does not protect us from our personal wounds.

Nor from my illnesses, my losses of my job or my loved ones, nor from homelessness and the struggles of my poverty and where my heart has been broken many times. These all need a new path to understand that sometimes, knowledge and the mind has no real business interfering in the healing of the emotional body.

This is why emotional disciplines and healing together bring a living meditation in its more advanced stages. But the difficult work of meditation at stage two of practices is to master the mind who has an insatiable thirst for dominance and control.

And that never sooth emotional struggles.

In my profession its not really about the mind and its knowledge but emotional honesty, fluidity and emotional engagement to move me beyond the conflicts of the minds control issues. OCD is the number one disease that can be cured by mastering meditation (slaying the mental body and its knowledge).The mind only wants control over life, over others, over emotions and that is exhausting to give the mind that much control and power. The minds words fall into the realm of Gemini the Trickster and the flight is what its opposing energy of Sagittarius wants to dance with.

Emotional expression allows me to grieve, to be angry, to express my isolation or even express joy when one is overwhelmed and stressed. The mind and its knowledge is not the emotional body and it does effect the stability on an emotional level to the point of chaos when two hearts let the mental body and its knowledge interfere or get in the way as emotions begin to rise. This is where the struggle occurs and the battles begin.

Controlling the mind and giving it less power, helps the real emotions behind relationships flourish, but this comes at a cost to “feel” and generally those are powerful feelings. When one knows and tastes chaos in their life for a short or long time, knowledge brings no remedies, no medicines, nor soothes the soul that has been touched with impact in deep emotional experiences that have harmed you.

Happy emotions or struggling emotions that rise in expressions of a greater or lesser degree, is like an artist expresses its love and frustrations in the acts of creation. Its a living experience not a formula and tested knowledge.

Fear and woundedness are the flavors and expressions of Empaths, and our stronger and more upsetting emotions and they come in a variety of forms that wave through insecurity, jealousy, anger, bullying, intolerance of the past or learned behaviors of how to survive. These of course are very natural and necessary for the development of self awareness because after an emotional struggle or battle, most times people contemplate on what happen.

Do not focus on the other during emotional struggle because that just causes victim and perpetrator archetypes. Rather, focus on the self and breathe. For you and your emotional body have a relationship to your physical body whether you are aware of them or not and that can cause pain for body, soul, emotional body…

everything except the mental body.

Gianna Tutundzhan
Gianna Tutundzhan

This is why the mental body must be kept in check, and out of emotional battles because the escalation is brought down to a more grounded level. Remember water (emotions) and earth (body) fare much better when the mind (air) is given less or no power in emotional issues and struggles. Its only good after the storm, not before or during the emotional storm. Hard to remember when your in the middle of a storm.

You or I may not like and approach such emotional things, and you and I have the right to express them. You and I have a choice to express our feelings pure and raw, even if they are uncomfortable. This is how we unwind deep seated emotional truths that we may have not been able to express in the past or fearful of rejection from a loved one if we do.

Mental truth offers us facts, and as you know if you are an empath, we have emotional memory, not mental factual memory mixed with opinions, various knowledge and its philosophies. Feeling is a different memory system, its energetic and not in the mind/body reality. Emotional engagements usually leaves us with feeling out of control, attacked or not having control over a situation.

This is when you need to 1. walk away from the conflict without guilt; 2. leave the mental body conflict within or with the other; 3. breath, cry, dream. Otherwise, the Mind and the Emotional body begins a dance to see whose mental body will rule, contain and express personal power over the situation or your emotions subside.

Nothing is accomplished emotionally if you don’t make a change within the immediate emotional conflict, because what soon follows is a beating up of the empath through the routes of blame, lack, character weakness, accusations and all sorts of daggers that come to our heart and emotional body and then we fumble and fall not being able to mentally slay the person… because we do not like to be slayed.

That brings us to the next self-mastery stages that all Empaths must focus on and that is the disciplines of 1. Boundaries. And that must be practiced your whole life even after mastery.

Not everyone is mentally suited for emotional battles, just like others are not suited to touch their deep seated emotional issues that are hidden waiting for exposure in conflict. This is why emotions and the soul’s elusive engagement is a dance of love, forgiveness, fighting and soothing equally, just like the waves that brings storms in the ocean, and the calm sunny days after the storm.

Language and speaking is just as important as silence and retreat when working with yourself when emotions rise. As long as you are able to not judge them with the mental body as good or bad, for they do clear the inner air. Sometimes my fantasies or idealism about the world and people separates me from you and that just makes me very lonely.

Asking for help is important, it sometimes solves conflict, or old family issues. Returning to balance within emotional experience is not a shameful thing, its a healthy thing. What is strong is alive, what is real is truthful and that is all messy and complicated for empaths. We will never be perfect because we are a living and breathing emotional being.

baba 1 by Afanasyeva Anna Pavlovna

The truly controlling mental types strive for control and perfection and when we must engage with our opposition its wise to walk away in conflict if you know yourself well, otherwise you must face and learn about your sensitivities and heal yourself within conflict. You can relax from that over sixty if you put in the efforts in your 30s, 40s and 50s with a real sober and dedicated path. Imperfection is a needed expression and that is how we help each other regardless of whether we are empathic or not.

The ego always has a choice to pretend its right and separate the self from the conflict, but the soul urges us to work out our differences of opinions, experiences, pain and grief in this exact way…through emotional struggle. This is very important because a change occurs and I no longer imagine life I idealism, imagine or fantasize about and deal with real emotional energy.

Other Empath Articles by Phoenix

Empaths: A Hug Free Spiritual Diet:

The Introvert and the Empath:

Soul of the Empath:

The Empathic Apprentice:

Crystals are not for Empaths, HSP or Dreamers:

Phoenix is an Emotional Body Empath Healer, Folk Healer, Wise Soul Counselor. If you would be interesting in working with her, please write ElderMountainDreamer@gmail.com.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Priscila Jacewicz says:

    I am so happy to have found your page a few years ago because, despite the immense territorial distance (I live in Brazil), your articles always calm me down, proving that I am not “so crazy” in my perceptions and showing a reliable path. Thank you so much for keeping this blog active!


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